


Distance

by Just_All_Random



Series: Our Little Secret [RavWoong AU] [3]
Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Secrets, youngjo is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 23:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17949467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_All_Random/pseuds/Just_All_Random
Summary: It pains Hwanwoong's heart to be with Youngjo and guilt fills his chest when he's not.





	Distance

**Author's Note:**

> The summary isn't good ik it sucks lol I might change it later tho
> 
> I finally finished a fic with my ONEUS otp!! This was supposed to be very light hearted tho, idk what happened to that but angst suddenly became a thing so eh it was fun to write and surprisingly quick
> 
> **WARNING!!!**  
> They watch the movie Bohemian Rhapsody and there is a MINOR spoiler, it's very small. I put asterisks at that part for those who haven't watched bohemian rhapsody yet :)
> 
> Enjoy ^^

  
Apparently, this Saturday is not to be spent sleeping inside and away from the cold and snow. According to Seoho, and as well as his other friends who agree including his own boyfriend, they should go out this Saturday, the one Saturday Hwanwoong does not want to go out at all. It was a tough day for him yesterday, he'll put it at that.

"Woongie?" Youngjo calls from the front door of his boyfriend's apartment.

Hwanwoong rolls onto his side, listening to the struggling of getting shoes off from outside his room. His phone rings, blinding his eyes and brightening his dark room. He squints, looking at the caller ID. 'Mom' it reads. Hwanwoong presses the red button and turns off his phone. He plops back into his bed, looking up at the ceiling as he lets out a long sigh.

The door opens, letting all the light flood Hwanwoong's room. The dancer groans, burying his face into his pillow.

"Hwanwoong?" Youngjo walks over to the window of Hwanwoong's room, blinds keeping the light from coming into his room.

"Don't open those blinds," Hwanwoong stops his boyfriend. But Youngjo doesn't listen, the bright evening sun blinding Hwanwoong. He hides his eyes behind the back of his palm.

"Did you get my text?" Youngjo asks, sitting on the side of Hwanwoong's bed.

"What text?" Hwanwoong lies. Youngjo sent him a text earlier about going out with friend, he just didn't feel bothered to respond.

"Don't lie to me. I know you saw it," Youngjo wraps his fingers around Hwanwoong's wrist and lifts the boy's hand away from his face. Hwanwoong sighs, eyes gradually adjusting to the brightness before he looks at his boyfriend. Youngjo is frowning, concerned and mildly hurt. "Why are you lying to me?" He softly questions, lacing his fingers with Hwanwoong's. The latter's heart pangs.

Hwanwoong shakes his head, pulling his hand away and rolling onto his side to bury his face into his pillow, back facing Youngjo.

"I wanna sleep," he uses a whiny voice, acting normal. Youngjo doesn't buy it. He rolls his boyfriend so they face each other. He looks into the other's eyes.

"Is there something wrong?"

Hwanwoong's eyes fail to keep in contact with Youngjo's deeply concerned ones.

"I'm just tired," Hwanwoong answers.

His phone rings again. Hwanwoong is quick to hang up on the caller before Youngjo sees who it is. He mentally chides himself for not making it look natural.

"Who was that?" Youngjo curiously asks.

"These scammers have been spamming my phone lately. They're just annoying me now." The lie rolls off Hwanwoong's tongue so easily that he wants to applaud himself, but the guilt always leaves a bad aftertaste.

A moment of silence stretches itself out. It's awkward, Hwanwoong knows he's the cause of this. He needs to fix it.

"Where did you wanna go today?" Hwanwoong asks. He guesses he has to go along with Youngjo's plans today, he shouldn't worry his boyfriend.

"Seoho says he wants to go watch Bohemian Rhapsody and visit the coffee house that just opened up down the street from the cinema," Youngjo says. He rests his hand on Hwanwoong's thigh, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb. "Are you sure you're okay? I know you sleep a lot, but you just woke up and it's five o'clock."

"It's five o'clock?!" Hwanwoong looks at the clock on his phone. It's a quarter past five, meaning Youngjo sent the message about going out with friends around six hours ago. He's been sleeping for about twenty hours and he _still_ feels like shit?

"The movie is at seven, you have more than enough time to get ready," Youngjo reassures him. "But, are you sure you're okay?"

Hwanwoong's heart feels heavy and it pangs and squeezes. It hurts to keep secrets from his boyfriend, but he can't right now. He just can't. His throat doesn't dare utter a single word, not yet.

"It'll pass," Hwanwoong ends up saying, guilt turning his face away from his boyfriend's. Youngjo moves closer to Hwanwoong, fingers delicately taking hold of his chin. He directs the boy to face him, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips. The moment is soft and tender, stilling Hwanwoong's shaky heart. He sighs against Youngjo's lips, just a small moment of relief filling his chest. He pulls away though, as if a mother told her child what they were doing was wrong so they stopped.

"I'm gonna take a bath. You can stay if you want," Hwanwoong gets out of his bed and grabs his towel.

"Did you have breakfast? Or anything to eat?" Youngjo asks before Hwanwoong leaves the room. The dancer shakes his head. "I'll make you some food, okay?"

Hwanwoong can feel the warmth that wants to fill his chest, but instead he feels an aching cold.

"Thanks."

 

Hwanwoong takes a bite of the sausage Youngjo cooked, chewing as the air thickens with awkwardness. It's unusual for any kind of silence between them to be awkward—they're boyfriends after all, they keep their moments of silence warm and affectionate as they cuddle each other or quietly play in each other's presence. There's a clear distance between them, and Hwanwoong appreciates that Youngjo is considerate enough to give him space, but he hates it at the same time.

Hwanwoong's phone rings again. He presses the red button again, this time silencing his phone.

"Is that your mom again?" Youngjo asks. Hwanwoong hides the alarm that threatens to show on his features.

"How did you know?" The dancer watches his boyfriend attentively, teetering nervously in his seat.

"She kept calling while you were taking a bath," Youngjo replies.

"Did you answer it?" Hwanwoong questions a beat later. He calms himself down, willing the nervousness not to get the best of him.

"No," the older shakes his head. His eyes meet with Hwanwoong's, peering into him for an answer before he even asks the question. "Why?"

"It's nothing," Hwanwoong brushes it off. He then, in his mind, scolds himself for saying the most unbelievable and half-assed answer ever. He quickly makes up another reason. "I just don't want to talk to her right now," he, for the first time, honestly says.

"Why not?"

Hwanwoong begins to feel annoyed and impatient by the amount of questions his boyfriend has been asking today. But he doesn't show it, composing himself to hold it in with everything else.

"She just...I don't wanna talk about it," he confesses, which really isn't a confession but more like an avoidance.

"Is that why you're not feeling well?"

Hwanwoong nods.

"Yes."

Youngjo puts down his phone, a tight-lipped smile pulling one corner of his lips. He walks over to Hwanwoong, running his fingers through is boyfriend's hair before placing a kiss on the crown of his head. He continues to stroke the boy's hair at a comforting pace.

"I won't talk about it then," Youngjo whispers.

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Warmth, his chest fills with it and reassures him. He lets his arms reach for Youngjo, head tilting up as he pulls his boyfriend down so their lips connect with each other. He decides to let this warmth last.

 

Hwanwoong kept particularly to himself the entire ride to the cinema. He tells himself that he should ignore his problems for now and enjoy himself, so he will—er, try, at least.

They enter through a mall entrance that leads to the cinema, walking past many clothes shops and vendors. Hwanwoong has to drag Youngjo along before the older gets too caught up with clothes shopping than the movie Seoho's treating them to. He doesn't admit it, but he finds it endearing and very much a couple thing to do as he pulls Youngjo away from the stores, their fingers laced together. A voice that eats away at the back of his mind tells him it's wrong but Hwanwoong remains undeterred as his hand only tightens around Youngjo's.

They arrive at the cinema, the smell of buttered popcorn becoming most present as they spot Seoho and Keonhee chatting away, the latter sipping from his large soda drink. Hwanwoong and Youngjo interrupt their heated conversation of would you rather never eat chicken again or only be able to eat chicken, greeting them.

"Where's Gunhak and Dongju?" Youngjo asks.

"They're at the concessions ordering us food since they lost rock paper scissors," Seoho answers. "But this guy already got himself a large soda," he points to Keonhee, who just shrugs as he continues to drink from the straw.

Hwanwoong finds himself tuning everyone out for the next moments he doesn't remember too clearly. He's in his own world, disconnected from everyone as they enter the movie theater and he suddenly has a box of popcorn in his hands. He doesn't remember going inside the theater or being given the box of popcorn or it disappearing from his hands. He doesn't know why he feels so out of it, it just sort of happened while thinking when he didn't want to. He feels himself slip back into reality when Freddy speaks to Mary.

*******

" _I think I'm bisexual_ ," Freddy comes out.

Hwanwoong carefully watches Mary's reactions. It's tame but sorrowful, not furious but accepting. Her reaction feels unreal, considering she and Freddy are engaged, but it all seems to make sense. If she's that close to Freddy, she would be willing to make that sacrifice for the one she loves, staying as close friends instead of lovers. She could've reacted differently, horribly in fact, but she didn't. She accepted it for Freddy because she loves him that much.

*******

If a mother loves her child so much, shouldn't she accept them as well?

"Woong ah?" Youngjo softly whispers, fingers hooking around Hwanwoong's before pulling his hand into his palm. "Are you okay?"

Hwanwoong doesn't realize it, but tears are rolling down his face. He doesn't think he's been breathing until he sniffs. More tears run down his face, hot and almost angry. He feels like an extinguished fire wanting to burst back to life but having no fuel to do so, burning away until the smoke of a fire that was once crackling in heat is left. He wants to feel angry, furious, but he feels sorrowful and envious instead.

Hwanwoong pulls his hand away from Youngjo's, his feet now on the seat so he can hide his face into his knees, curling away from the world.

 

Hwanwoong managed to stop himself from crying as the movie went on. He hopes his eyes aren't red as they walk out the cinema.

"We'll see you guys at the coffee shop?" Gunhak says in an inquiry tone, looking around at his friends. Hwanwoong keeps his head down, avoiding everyone's eyes in case his eyes are red.

Everyone parts ways since apparently they all parked in completely different places from each other. Hwanwoong and Youngjo's hands are laced together, but there's a distance between them again. Youngjo is the one to close that gap, letting go of Hwanwoong's hand to wrap his arm around the boy's shoulder.

"Is everything okay?" Youngjo quietly asks, keeping their conversation between them and them only.

"I'm okay," Hwanwoong answers.

"Do you still want to go to that coffee shop?"

"Yeah. I'm a little hungry anyways," Hwanwoong says, leaving no room for Youngjo to prolong the conversation any longer than it needs to be. Youngjo simply stares at him for a moment, trying to figure his boyfriend out, but he gets nothing. He stands up straight, letting his arm fall off Hwanwoong's shoulder. He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"Okay."

Hwanwoong longs for Youngjo's touch, but he decides against it.

 

"Did you guys get the text I sent to the group chat?" Keonhee asks as Hwanwoong and Youngjo are the last ones to join the four at the two tables pushed together into one. Hwanwoong sits on the chair next to Keonhee while Youngjo sits next to Gunhak on the cushiony booth across from him. They both take out their phone and look at them.

"Oh, we forgot to unmute our phones," Youngjo says. He and Hwanwoong both turn off mute, reading the text Keonhee sent. Hwanwoong gets distracted. He frowns. Apparently his mother had called him nine times during the movie. He puts his phone face down on the table, forgetting to check Keonhee's text.

"Weren't you the one who recommended the movie?" Youngjo asks, looking at Keonhee.

"Because I saw that video. The movie has many inaccuracies," Keonhee says.

"It's a movie, hyung. It's supposed to captivate the audience, not bore them with the technicalities," Dongju opposes.

"They can still make it interesting with the technicalities, that's how you make a good movie!" Keonhee argues.

Hwanwoong decides to tune out his friends again as he is no need to the topic at hand. He's back in his own world unless he's needed in the conversation, like when Seoho was asking what everyone wanted so he would go up and order for them. His mind repeats that scene twice over before he shakes it out of his head. He doesn't want to think right now, especially that.

"Hey, are you okay?" Keonhee pokes Hwanwoong's side when conversation doesn't involve him anymore. "You've got bags under your eyes and you look ten times more tired than you usually do," he points out. Hwanwoong feels his face.

"Really? I'll go check?" Hwanwoong leaves the table to go to the bathroom. He doesn't feel like being questioned about it by Keonhee, Youngjo is just enough for him.

He locks the bathroom door, sighing to himself. He wills back his tears even when he's alone. Being around his friends and boyfriend has been a good distraction up until now. Now that he's alone, really alone with his mind, he can't avoid his thoughts anymore.

He splashes his face with cold water, mind flooding with the thoughts of his mother like a dam breaking because the supports are missing. He bites back the tears that threaten to leave his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. It hurts to hold it all in, but he knows if he lets it all out now there's no stopping. Hwanwoong doesn't need that, not when he's in public.

A soft shaky sob echoes in the small bathroom. It was a sob to relieve just enough pain for it to become bearable because Hwanwoong's almost certain he would've broken down if he didn't let something out. With that sob came a few tears, however, but he quickly wipes those away.

He checks himself in the mirror. Keonhee was right, he does have bags under his eyes, which are now glossy with tears. He sighs, giving himself a moment to cool off, focusing his energy on looking normal. If he were to walk back to the table like this, his friends would definitely be worried. He steadies his breathing and closes his eyes. Another moment passes and he wonders if he's taking too long in the bathroom. Once realizing that he may be taking to long, Hwanwoong checks himself one last time before exiting the bathroom.

The table is crowded with plates of waffles, bingsu, coffee, and bubble tea when Hwanwoong comes back. The aroma of waffles and coffee comforts him, but then he realizes his boyfriend isn't present.

"Where's Youngjo?" Hwanwoong asks, taking his seat. He moves his plate of waffles, thinking his phone was under it. He soon realizes it's not there either. Panic begins to buzz inside him.

"He's outside on the phone, but I'm pretty sure he picked up your phone," Gunhak answers, his eyebrows furrowed, most likely confused as to why Youngjo would pick up Hwanwoong's phone, or why Hwanwoong is visibly panicking right now.

Hwanwoong shoots up from the table, barely noticing his chair fell because he's already running for the door. The blistering cold slaps him in the face, having left his coat inside. Youngjo is on the phone, a soft smile on his face as he turns to acknowledge Hwanwoong presence.

"I'll take good care of your son, Ms. Yeo," Youngjo says, pulling the phone away from his face to hang up the call.

Hwanwoong watches in disbelief. The tears that threatened to fall in the bathroom are now burning down his cheeks. He is _pissed_. And the unchanging expression Youngjo gives him boils his blood, the winter cold forgotten at this point.

"Why did you answer?" Hwanwoong rigidly inquires. Youngjo walks towards him, handing him his phone and reaching out to wrap his arms around him. Hwanwoong flinches, shoving his arms away. "Why did you answer?" He asks again with a snarl.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Youngjo steadily replies, features hard, eyebrows furrowed. Youngjo keeps calm while Hwanwoong knows he's freaking out right now.

"This is none of your business. She's _my_ mom," Hwanwoong balls his fists tightly.

"Actually, it _is_ my business," Youngjo crosses his arms authoritatively. He steps forward to his frozen boyfriend. "My boyfriend's mother is threatening _our_ relationship. Not to mention it's also _my_ fault she found out because _I_ forgot to tell Yonghoon not to post that pic of us on Instagram," he passionately insists, taking a step closer to Hwanwoong after every word he stresses. He stands an inch away from Hwanwoong, hands resting on the latter's shoulders, which are shaking.

"It is my business. But it is not your fault."

Hwanwoong stays silent. He pushes Youngjo away, shaking his head in disbelief. He turns cold, the burning fire going extinguished like it had earlier as the winter air subdues his anger. He lets out a sob and hides his face from Youngjo. Youngjo pulls him into his arms, keeping him warm in the freezing night. He cries into his boyfriend's chest, not caring if he's in public or if that stupid voice of his mother is telling him being with Youngjo is wrong. He centers his attention on the way Youngjo strokes his hair at a comforting pace, trying to match his breathing to the calm and steady beat.

"What did she say?" Hwanwoong manages to say once he's calmed down enough.

Youngjo stays quiet as if contemplating his answer. Hwanwoong acutely thinks Youngjo won't tell him at all since the dancer kept this secret from him. But Youngjo is nicer than Hwanwoong.

"She said she wants nothing to do with me or you," Youngjo finally says, quiet and solemn.

Hwanwoong's unsure if he should feel happy or just cry even harder. The voice of his mother can't control him now, he can love Youngjo happily. Hwanwoong should feel free that his mother doesn't want to associate with him, free from her rule and free to do as he pleases. But Hwanwoong loves her still, he's his mother after all, the one who raised him, let him dance, let him live. Should he feel guilty that he loves Youngjo so much that he's willing to let his own mother abandon him?

"I'm sorry," Youngjo apologizes, kissing the top of Hwanwoong's head. "I'm so sorry," he whispers into his boyfriend's hair. Hwanwoong thinks Youngjo's apologies are useless when he feels like he himself is the one to blame, but it does make him feel better, somehow relieving him of the guilt he had. He shakes his head, tilting his head up so he can pull Youngjo down to kiss him, tears still rolling down his cheeks. The kiss is warm and soft, the cold almost becoming a distant memory. He pulls away first, resting his head against Youngjo's chest again.

"Youngjo?" Hwanwoong softly calls, his cold and numb hands reaching out for Youngjo's. Warm hands wrap around Hwanwoong's.

"Yes?" Youngjo responds, slowly lifting one of Hwanwoong's hands and kissing the back of it. Hwanwoong chuckles with a growing grin as tears slow to a stop, his breath creating a cloud between him and Youngjo.

"I love you."

Youngjo smiles warmly at him, leaning down to kiss Hwanwoong on the lips once more, filling the boy with the more love than he thought he could receive. He's warm, chest filled with the love for his boyfriend, and it finally feels right—it is right.

Hwanwoong loves Youngjo so much. Maybe so much so that he might be willing to let his mother abandon him. As unsure as he is of his situation right now, one thing's for sure: he's not letting go of Youngjo no matter how wrong he's told it is. He's his boyfriend, after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I could've made the ending better tbh but I didn't want to write more and change too much so this'll do
> 
> This fic was fun to make!! Kudos, comments, constructive criticism are all highly appreciated!!
> 
> Distract me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/aegi_woongz) or on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/abeeb)
> 
> Thanxx for reading ^^


End file.
